I had another experience while waiting in another long line for it to be my turn at the till. I remember it clearly, down to the final details, because it was such a learning experience for me. I was ahead of a mother with little children; a boy and a girl, maybe a year or two older than my oldest children. Their mother wore a furrowed brow with pinched lips and a voice full of reprimand – for everything, and not in a kind way. As I stood and listened to the way she was treating those children, my blood started to boil. I could feel a rush of adrenalin because I was approaching the point of wanting to say something to her. I could see those children and the desperation in their eyes for her to just love them. To say something would make them feel worse. I’ve never seen eyes like that in children before; hungering to just be loved and accepted, but only to be belittled and disrespected. I was in front of her maybe 5-10 minutes. I’d had enough. She had to know how she was treating them was not okay.
That was the moment that I was prompted by the spirit to do something different:
Compliment her. Compliment her children.
Really?? (I’d had an experience a year prior where I didn’t listen to a prompting, and it resulted in a house fire for my family. It was devastating and difficult and I promised myself that the lesson I needed to learn was “never postpone a prompting”. Another story for another time though!)
President Thomas S. Monson has said:
“I plead with you to have the courage to refrain from judging and criticizing those around you, as well as the courage to make certain everyone is included and feels loved and valued.”
Let’s face it: we’re not always going to make the best choices. It’s in our nature to make mistakes. I have a firm testimony of the necessity of the Atonement. Our Savior was the one perfect person born and raised on this earth. He has the ability to save us from our sins. I want that more than anything. I know that I’m going to see Him again. I don’t know when, but I know as sure as I can see my hands typing on this keyboard, that I will see him again face to face. I don’t want to be condemned for the way I have treated others.
One of my favourite scriptures in Matthew 7 says:
“Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholds thug the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considers not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eyel and then shalt thou see clearly to cast the mote out of thy brother’s eye.”
It reminds me that I do not know the thoughts, intents or desires of another and the way I judge them will have an effect on me (positive or negative). I love the imagery of me trying to pull a little splinter out of another’s eye while my head can hardly bear the weight of the beam in my own eye. So true.
I chose to write about this subject, not to make us all feel guilty, but I have such a tremendous respect and admiration for women. We are doing an amazing work. We’ve been given specific characteristics and talents to teach and bless the lives of those around us. Be easy on yourself. Forgive yourself. Remember that the only standard of perfection required is the one we keep wrongly setting for ourselves. The quicker we realize that, the better. Keep doing your best every day, apply the Atonement to you personally, and repent where you fall short, and that my friends, is good enough.
Remember: “God’s love is there for you whether you deserve it or not” (Jeffrey R. Holland)
May we extend that same love and compassion to those around us to our best ability.
Man, oh man! I can’t wait to until my next trip to Wal-Mart and I can’t wait to hear about yours! 🙂
Kristin is a mother to 4 lovely children, lover of good music, good laughter and good food! She loves setting goals and writes in her journal every day. She is working on not yelling and being more productive. She loves living in a small town and wants to own pigs and chickens on day (this WILL happen – she says!).
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