Benson is now 13 years old. He has had severe atopic dermatitis, chronically swollen lymph nodes, frequent teeth abcesses, MRSA infections and other immune phenomena, his entire life.  He has missed a lot of school over the years, is a year behind, and has seen a multitude of specialists. He has been poked, prodded, tube fed, had a pic line for antibiotics, and tested a myriad of times for many different immune disorders and not one test has ever been conclusive. We have spent more hours in doctors offices and hospital than I ever care to remember. We even took a break from all doctors when he was eight and tried all sorts of natural path remedies, only for him to end up unable to walk because of the condition of his skin. Below is some of what resulted that year. He would never allow me to show more than this, but this was what a large portion of his body looked like.

However, despite these challenges, we don’t believe anything has ever been a loss. We have met wonderful people and learned so much along the way and know there are reasons for challenges. We have learned that blessings come uniquely packaged during trials and that it’s okay – not to be okay.

When Benson was three, I wrote a song called “In The Lord’s Time”. He very well may have been on my lap as these words and music formed, as I often write into the wee hours of the night and he was sometimes up during those hours needing his mommy, so I would place him on my lap at the piano and sing to him. I loved it when he would fall asleep there, exhausted, yet comforted. Special times. On one occasion, when he was about four, he said “Mom, I have tears. Why do I have tears when I hear you play?” I knew he was feeling the comfort of the Holy Ghost. I was grateful, and I felt it too. I love those teaching moments with my children. I have always known the Lord hears my prayers and I have faith He will answer every single prayer – in His time.

For example, little Benson, just over the past couple of years has found his singing voice! It has brought him so much joy – and also me as a composing mom – to have him sing my songs. We have a special little bond and he makes our house so musical with the constant singing. Often the other four children will join in with their amazing ability to harmonize and we have our own little Von Trapp Family Singers! These are some fun memories! Earlier this year he recorded for the first time and was included on the song “I Will Remember Him” on the new album “Come To Know Him“.

Doctors at one time speculated an immune disorder for Benson, but we simply don’t know, and maybe won’t ever know. Between 2013-2105 he did a 2 year trial with IVIG (Intervenus Immunoglobulins – a blood product antibody). He went for monthly therapies, hooked up for 10 hours each time. This was a steroid sparing alternative we were trying. They were long days for him, but he was a trooper and made friends with the nurses and even sang for them! We took a year off, but are now booked to start up again. Although the treatments helped, we are still having symptoms. Still, we are hopeful. Sometimes I wonder if as he grows his immune system will normalize and one day this will all just be a distant memory of some really important lessons that we once had to learn regarding faith and healing in the Lord’s way and time. I believe the Lord has had a plan in all this and continues to have a plan for Benson. It’s all good. We have faith and take it one day at time.

Benson has a unique little spirit. His questions and challenges have sparked late night discussions that I would have never expected to have with someone so young. His questions have been deep and sometimes soul wrenching. He has depth beyond his years because he has suffered, and had to find ways to cope with his challenges. I am grateful that because of my knowledge in this gospel, that I have answers to give him when he asks. It supplies us with hope. I love being his mama.

For my new album, Come To Know Him, I wrote a song called Miracles For Me. It is our spiritual journey. Sometimes it’s hard to understand why the Lord answers the prayers and fasting efforts of some, but not others. It used to be hard for me to hear other faith promoting experiences, especially regarding miracles of health, but I have realized that often the miracles we need first take place within our hearts and then we have the faith to accept the Lord’s will, whatever that may be.

One of my most favourite talk tapes of all time that has helped me to understand the Lord’s timing is “The Fourth Watch” by S. Michael Wilcox – Receiving divine help when your prayers seem unanswered.

Benson recently recorded his version of “Glorious” for the Meet The Mormons song contest.

Here’s a recent recording of Benson singing my song “An Answer To Prayer“.

You can also hear Benson sing on my family song “Where Would We Be Without Family“.

UPDATE – October 2017 – Benson is using his music to #LightTheWorld and sings my new song “Light The World“!

UPDATE – July 2018 Benson has his own website where he is sharing his music! www.bensonbaril.com! He has even started writing some of his own music!