We are all at different places in our own journey, learning and growing. We are all striving to narrow that gap between what we know to be right and how we live those truths.

When we focus on our Savior, keep our covenants, and improve ourselves through loving and serving, those gaps naturally begin to close and we become pure and holy vessels for the spirit to flow through.

Have you ever been asked by your child about why one family does something differently than your family? Or have you ever tried to explain away your own hypocrisy, all the while teaching a portion of doctrine to your child? Have you ever seen or felt a gap between what you know to be true and how you and others behave? It can be a challenge to explain to our children why people perceive the commandments differently, or to understand why some people take great detours on the path to eternal life. It can be a challenge to understand it ourselves.

 

Sometimes in our attempts to answer those questions, we widen the gap between ourselves and our Heavenly Father and risk offending others – and the spirit. When we point out the flaws of others, we are judging, and therefore, we cause disconnection between those we know and love. There is rarely a time to concern ourselves with such questions, and it’s best to teach our children the same. We are not responsible for how others live (or don’t live) the gospel.

I remember a distinct impression I had once in the temple about these exact issues – which stemmed from genuine concern and love, but I was questioning the Lord’s plan with regards to some individuals, instead of trusting. The answer I received changed my view 180 degrees. I heard the words in my mind “Sara, please move out of the way and let me do my job.” It was not the answer I expected. It was a kind, but firm answer and I realized that I was tripping up the spirit by making the problems of others become my problem. I learned that when you worry or feel the need to change others, those thoughts precede actions such as criticism, fault finding, and over-stepping bounds. I learned that I needed to genuinely love people for where they are at.

Nobody likes to have their motives questioned, have others breathing down their neck or be criticized, even if the attempt comes from love and concern. You simply can’t carry out the Lord’s plan of agency in the devil’s way of control. Our Heavenly Father is aware of each of us and our place on our mortal journey. He has a carefully structured plan to guide each of us home. We need to trust in that. We need to trust that the Atonement is not only for ourselves, but also for everyone else who we know and love.

 

 

In Isaiah 55:8 we read:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. 

In this scripture, the Lord reminds us that he is coming from a different perspective than us because in 55:9, He says,

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 

In this vein, I think the Lord is saying in a kind way: let me me worry about the plan for my children. Do not concern yourself with these things; let me do my job.

It reminds me of when my children bicker with each other about petty things and I have to step in and say “WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF!” I wonder if our Father has the same issue with His children here on earth.

 

Our Father – because He is our Father and God of all – sees a greater picture. He sees the beginning from the end. He sees a grand plan for each individual here on earth. He is a God of wonder, and a God of love – for all His children – which children we are. He knows how each of us learn, how we will react in situations and how to reach us and guide us home. He has higher thoughts because of His knowledge, and this knowledge pertains to us. He also knows our potential and the potential of our families, our children, our neighbours, our friends, our co-workers and our ward members. He knows all, “…for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth.” Revelation 19:6

Because of that, His deep perspective and greater knowledge, exceeds our own. He knows why we do what we do and works with us individually to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39) Our job is solely to love one another and not get in the way of that by passing judgements and analyzing each other’s lives. We must have “words full of kindness, deeds full of grace”. Tell Me the Stories of Jesus, Children’s Songbook, pg 57 All words and actions are preceded by thoughts – so our thoughts about others must be kind as well.

This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you. John 15:12

How does God love us? Unconditionally. How should we love others? Unconditionally. Does that mean we should talk behind their back? Worry incessantly about how to “save” them? Go out of our way to change others? No. It means we must simply LOVE and leave the rest up to the Lord. We can pray for others and serve them, but the Lord will carry out His plan in His way and time.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it seems like there are too many people who get offended in the Church. Why is that? Who’s fault is it? Are people too sensitive or does there need to be more kindness? Which is it? Is it both? I strongly believe it is both, and it stems from a lack of charity.

 

WHEN WE ARE TEMPTED TO BE OFFENDED

Jesus taught:

These things have I spoken until you [about his atonement, mission of the Holy Ghost, death and resurrection] that ye should not be offended. John 16:1 

Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended. Matthew 13:21

To me this means that because of Christ’s mission, we can trust that He will make all things right. We must concentrate more on ourselves rather than worry about the sins and misdeeds of others. It’s no concern of ours what other people do or do not do. And when we worry about it, become offended by people’s weaknesses, and then maybe even gossip about it, we are breaking the commandment to love one another and truly forgive, and the spirit does not abide in us. We have failed to trust in the Atonement that He has done what He said He would do.

Our “root” needs to be in Jesus Christ and His gospel, not in the programs or people of the Church. The Church is a facilitator for the gospel. The CHURCH is not the same thing as the GOSPEL, but this gospel abides IN the Church and contains proper Priesthood authority and important saving ordinances that cannot be performed anywhere else. The Gospel and the Church are one in what they accomplish for our salvation. However, our faith and participation in this gospel is a sign we give to God when we are actively involved in his Church. We do this by partaking of the sacrament each week, renewing our covenants to serve, love and forgive others and by following our Savior. By excluding ourselves from people or church situations where we have been – or may become – offended, we have missed the boat on what this gospel/Church is for. Elder D. Todd Christofferson said:

How does His Church accomplish the Lord’s purposes? It is important to recognize that God’s ultimate purpose is our progress. His desire is that we continue “from grace to grace, until [we receive] a fulness” of all He can give. That requires more than simply being nice or feeling spiritual. It requires faith in Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism of water and of the Spirit, and enduring in faith to the end. One cannot fully achieve this in isolation, so a major reason the Lord has a church is to create a community of Saints that will sustain one another in the “strait and narrow path which leads to eternal life.”

The Savior was out there amongst many offensive and fault finding people and willing to sacrifice not only his life in death (which we talk so much about) but also his life in LIFE. He “overcame the world” by rising above the sin and hurt that was wrought upon him and carried out “the will of His Father” nonetheless. How could he have not mingled among the Saints and learned to love? How could He have known how to serve if He didn’t place Himself in a position to do so? We can follow His example.

 

WHEN WE ARE TEMPTED TO OFFEND

As stated above, we need not concern ourselves with the actions or inactions of others. We can move forward doing what is right and let the chips fall where they may. Some personalities really feel the need to criticize and point out the faults of others, even if they are well meaning, but we can follow the Savior in example and say less and love more. We can control our thoughts, words and actions to be only kind and put blinders on so-to-speak, so that we can stay focused on our Savior and our own salvation. We can remember God has a plan for all His children, and our only part in that plan for them is to love and serve. When we do, miracles happen. The spirit flows freely and God can work miracles in not only their lives, but also ours as well.

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbles of mind, meekness, long-suffering; 

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. 

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. Colossians 3:12

“The bond of perfectness”….Sounds like charity seals the deal on our salvation to me. The whole chapter 3 of Colossians tell us exactly as saints how to become holy and to serve the Lord Jesus Christ. It’s worth a thorough study on how to avoid becoming the offender.

I have found that within the gospel, although this gospel teaches truth, everyone perceives and lives what they know just a little bit differently. We are all at different places in our own journey, learning and growing. We are all striving to narrow that gap between what we know to be right and how we live those truths. When we focus on our Savior, keep our covenants, and improve ourselves through loving and serving, those gaps naturally begin to close and we become pure and holy vessels for the spirit to flow through.

As President Thomas S. Monson has said,

“May we…resolve in our hearts to be a little better than we have been in the past. May we be a little kinder and more thoughtful. May we reach out in helpfulness, not only to our fellow members but also to those who are not of our faith. As we associate with them, may we show our respect for them. 

There are those who struggle every day with challenges. Let us extend to them our concern, as well as a helping hand. As we care for each other, we will be blessed.” 

Savior, More Like Thee

The spirit’s voice I’ve heard,
And the depths of my soul stirred.
It is Thy miracle, wondrous miracle
Changing me.
Like the waves upon the sand
Thy love washes over me.
And all my fears erase as Thy perfect grace
Fills every imperfection of my heart.

All my thanks I give to Thee
For all that Thou hast done for me.
And I humbly pray that I can become
Savior, more like Thee.https://toliftandinspire.com/2015/11/spiritual-thought-sunday-gaps-being-offended-at-church-differences-in-commandment-keeping/

I can hear Thee call my name.
I will never be the same;
For Thy voice beckons me to come follow Thee
And Thy ways.
I cannot deny I’ve heard
For the truth speaks in Thy word,
And when I kneel in prayer I can feel Thee there
With pow’r to cleanse and heal my broken heart.

All my thanks I give to Thee
For all that Thou hast done for me.
And I humbly pray that I can become
Some day more, ever more; Savior, more like Thee.

Copyright © 2006 by Sara Lyn Baril. All rights reserved.

From the album “Thy Healing Hands – Songs of Comfort and Peace” available at www.saralynbaril.com.